This is helen

Fionn wrote this about 3 years ago. Three of those teenaged years so years when learning about new situations and issues never seems to give the parent a minute to breathe! BUT every minute you spend explaining and understanding your child’s view is another step for him to manage being in a world of people not really aware of the way your child is “wired”.

Fionn now does Performing Arts as an exam subject – and he LOVES it. Mixing with so many similars- artsy, shameless, happy, diverse young people ALL leaving life to pretend to be in another.

And Fionn says “it’s much easier to be someone else than yourself” – and of course it is. A scripted LIFE!


It is World Autism Awareness Day 2015.

This is me, Fionn, behind the mask.

The day to make people aware of autism and how life is for autistic people and aspies.

i have aspergers. I don’t remember NOT knowing that i had autism.

I’m going to do 10 points that might help you understand MY autism – cos everybody who has autism has different warning signs and clues. We have quite a few in common, BUT we are all a different mix of characteristics.

  1. I stim. I always stimmed in different ways. It depends on how nervous it am. NOW i SING out loud that blocks out the world for me. I used to be always whistling . NOW i have an addiction- that’s my parents word to my PHONE. I fidget at it all the time. It is really difficult for me to stay away from it.
  2.  i have habits you might think are a bit rude but they are needed. If i nervous chewing gum helps. I do that in school so i don’t talk as much. I still sometimes roll my sleeves up to get compression feel when i am anxious too.
  3. i am REALLY sensitive to smells. I have to walk away from bad smells. Like bad breath, body odour, some foods. I can’t help it. I am not being rude. they are just SO MUCH MORE to me than other people.
  4. i am so untidy and disorganised. In my schoolbag that my classroom assistant recently had to take me out of class to go through it. My BEDROOM is just like a bigger version of my bedroom. Clothes everywhere. I don’t MEAN to be untidy it is just that i am REALLY disorganised. In my bed i have clothes, blankets, and me.
  5. clothes themselves. My clothes have to be TIGHT. if i was allowed to i would wear clothes too small for me. I HATE hard collars, real school shoes. There are some jumpers and jackets that i don’t like the feeling of. I HATE itchy fabrics and hard fabrics. And i can’t close the top button on my school shirt.
  6. attention. i have a short attention span. no matter what i am doing i can’t do it for long without getting distracted or fidgetty, or having to be reminded what I am meant to be doing.
  7. i am a bit OTT about hygiene. I can’t stand anyone who smells bad, who looks dirty, or who has a bad breath, I have to move away. BUT it makes me very OTT about teeth brushing and about deodorant. My parents think it’s a bad habit and am trying to calm down. But i still do it sometimes, (it’s another reason i chew chewing gum”. I carry a deodorant EVERDAY in school- and use it after lunch. I just would HATE if is smelt bad.
  8. small talk. If there is no big item of conversation, i don’t talk. So if mum asks how was the match, i will just say “fine” and walk off. I know i have to learn and remember that people expect more than just one word answers and they expect a bit of detail. It becomes an issue as i get oldr so i am trying.
  9. new people. i ALWAYS think that they might not get me, so i don’t really make new friends. I suppose if i talked to them and told them I am a different it wouldn’t be too bad. I have more work to do on this one.
  10. sport and music and extra-curricular stuff like pantomime and things like that, is a great way of mixing with people. you meet all different ages. Sometimes it isn’t easy getting into them until the group feels more comfortable for you, but you have to keep trying.

I am more or less a NORMAL person . cos there is NO NORMAL….we are different.

When i was away recently i quite enjoyed wearing a mask. It was really enjoyable.

i felt anonymous.

it was fun hiding.