Being teenaged has LOTS of complications – i think for EVERYBODY!
but i can only really speak about how it is for me- or how it feels for me sort of.
I have been in a bit of a grumpy mood for the last few days. Grumpy with everyone really or really more grumpy with everyone in the house actually. I don’t show that much of it in school.
So we tried last night and again this morning to figure out what was bugging me, and i think we have put it down to just some of maybe normal teenage complications.
Because i have aspergers, so that i learned about people i have always had to talk to my parents so that they could give me some people advice. like if they say one thing…does it mean what i think it does? and usually the answer is no!
So it’s kinda like when we chat about stuff we are trying to retrace my steps in a weird way – we go though everything to see why i might be annoyed about things, and usually then something does show up.
My teachers at my meeting the other week seek that I seem to be emotionally very mature. I find that slightly funny and had a giggle, cos the reason i do probably seem like that is that i have learned long ago to be MYSELF in school and outside, and that causes me to have no real social problems.
- being me. I am quite comfortable being me, and not pretending to be cooler. I know peer pressure to go to discos used to be bad, until we talked about it, and i decided it wasn’t for me. Will not yet anyway.
- in my class for me it helped to TELL them early on that i was autistic – Cos i remember even at primary school i was a bit awkward and nervous about people who didn’t know me. But now, my class know i am a bit different and they respect that. I sometimes get slagged about girls liking me, or me liking girls but nothing too bad, The boys are FINE about me being different and I am glad I am different too.
- B.O. some people don’t mean to but they have a problem with body Odour. I am totally freaky about being smelly, and I probably over do the showering and the spray but it’s EVERYWHERE with teenagers. I find it difficult to cope with smells.
- Teeth!. i have a bit of a problem here. i HATE bad breath and i am fearful of having bad breath. So even without noticing I could be in the bathroom and notice i am cleaning my teeth. Mum and dad freak out about this cos they say it could become an obsession. So i do try to stop.
- parents: it gets “uncool” for some people to need help, or even to like their parents. For me my parents ( or mainly my mum) is still a bit of an encyclopedia – they can still read me when i am upset about stuff, and i still need them to explain how other kinds of people think!
- social networking: freaks me still. I still don’t use Facebook. but i use some networking where i can only interact with people one to one so there is no difficulty in groups. But i am still even aware that some people even act different on Facebook. I don’t want to go down that road.
- Clothes: it suddenly becomes important in your teens to have LOTS of fashionable clothes. Football tops and trackies are not the most fashionable things any more 😦 what you wear matters – you don’t want to look “chavvy” but you don’t want to look VERY formal, so you try to get it right. i feel really sorry for girls. There is even more pressure on them to look good.
- looking right: matters to some people. Girls seem to have to try to look older that they really are, like putting on tonnes of makeup all the time. When they are dressed up they seem to have to look perfect. like models. This can lead to putting a LOT of pressure on some people…like anorexia and problems like that. We know about how hard that is as my sister was bullied by a few horrible people and she became anorexic. She is grand now- well better i suppose 🙂
- acne: i HATE even mentioning this. i have pretty bad acne and i HATE it. i try to cheer myself up that i will be finished before my friends are with theirs. But the cheering up doesn’t really help. I feel very self conscious of it. And can i say to tease someone about spots is HORRIBLE. they can’t do anything about them, and it is not their fault. It is nothing to do with hygiene either.
- pressure: i LOVE hanging out with my friends – MALE and FEMALE. I would hate to feel awkward with my friends because of teasing, about who fancies who, and I just refuse to let that mess up my friendships. Yes i can see when people are pretty. but that doesn’t mean I want to marry them!… it is just part of how they look, like what colour their eyes are. That whole slag/tease thing is NOT good. people get awkward, say things, or feel upset, get hurt. My answer for now is going to be: “i don’t see why we can’t just be friends”…cos that is what i want!…and i do not want other people messing that.
NOW i actually do NOT feel grumpy.
so i guess that means that talking is good. It helps me to calm down and to make decisions about what annoys me and to know a few things i need to say for future problems.
F wrote this aged 13 – now he is 19
he has learned how to use and overuse social media.
he still would at times struggle to see a friend logically. we always have to try to explain what or what would mean his friend :
- is a really good reliable supportive friend.
- a person who is fun but you don’t really know them.
- people who have a reason to be with you.
- that friends who your parents know nothing whatsoever about in the small town we live in, are difficult for them to feel secure about.
- not really like F.
He loves his job in a pub- a job that he simply went up and asked for! none advertised. 🙂
F can go to concerts on buses with friends, drinks, and come home safely – luckily his brother is of an an age to be there too! but they must keep in touch!
He sends me photos the day after the concerts and there are more females and friends clinging on to him that i can ever remember. he is kind. and incredibly popular! – we have come such a long way!
He is now a very able son socially. and he applies all the correct things to do in the correct situations.
Those will keep changing with each new situation we meet!