from the heart as always… Fionn wondering…aged 13. 

for some years when you asked Fionn his emotion in many situations, as in “how do you feel?”, the standard answer was ANXIOUS.

So we “wondered” and he blogged about whether it was more scary being autistic or was everyone scared?
So himself and his Brother compared notes… they go.

I got the idea for tonight’s blog, from reading a post written by one of my blog friends.

He is almost 11. and is scared about growing up.

So mum asked was I?

and i realised i have never thought about it.

so mum me and Caoilte decided to have a chat and think about it.


  1. worrying. The good thing about having aspergers is that when i am thinking about anything and worried in any way, I go and talk to someone about it – usually Mum. So i don’t let small worries get big so i get them out of the way straight away.  Caoilte says he gets worried to, but mum has to drag it out of him. So maybe that one is easier for me…cos it is that i had to have everything explained always.
  2. changes.  There are so many changes when you are my age…like
    1. new school,
    2. new people,
    3. new teachers.
    4. new subjects
    5. new uniform
    6. real shoes
    7. new friends to make
    8. huge men boys!
    9. losing old friends cos they change schools
    10. feeling unsure – but we have been chatting here and that is a big thing for everybody. The thing that helped me, was meeting my new form teacher and my new classroom assistant before i started the school. I got a colour coded timetable and folders and a cool canteen “queue skipper” for me and 2 friends i can choose each day! THAT is popular! My brother is a year younger so this year he will be going through exactly the same list of new worries. But for a change maybe I could help him…cos i have been there, ( he DID LOL when i said that!)
  3. boy+girl relationships. I came from a mixed primary school so there was lots of teasing and all going on there. At first i was so scared cos i didn’t know what to do or say when someone asked me to go somewhere…we practiced it, and i just said the next day “I’m not interested in that stuff yet” – and cos he was my friend he said “that’s ok” – no laughing at me or bullying. The chat about girlfriends and discos is way worse at secondary school. But at the start of the year i told my class i had aspergers and that just made me a bit different, and they were fine with it. So when the chatting starts its funny cos lots of girls like me, and i like them – but am not interested in going out with anyone yet, and the boys slag me (its like teasing but its more messing ) and i slag them back that no girls like them 🙂  If the chat gets too much i just walk away and nobody passes any remarks.  For Caoilte it is an uncomfortable thing too. … and he says it doesn’t happen much but when it does it is pretty awkward! So this is an area that probably freaks everybody out!
  4. independence . Mum works on independence with BOTH of us together.
    1. we mind ourselves sometimes – our neighbours knows and she looks out for us, and is there if we need her help!
    2. we can make tea
    3. we can cook a freezer dinner
    4. we can cook from recipes – but we get help with that one
    5. we clean up our room -SORT OF
    6. we set the table -very RARELY
    7. we walk to the shop together.
    8. we can walk home from school with our friends.
    9. i did that on my first day at new school – i walked with 2 of my old classmates cos we live fairly close together – i have to go the last bit on my own.
    10. we can mind the dogs and feed the dogs and let them to the loo (uuuuuugh I DON’T feed the dogs Caoilte does! Cos the dog’s food smells funny and it stays on your hands!)
  5. work and college . i do spend a bit of time thinking about what jobs i could get that would be easy for me. But i don’t want one that would be too boring for me. i need to be active all the time. I haven’t thought too much about whether i want to go away to college or maybe stay at local college. or even get a job that you are taught as you go along. Or wait a year and go to college with Caoilte. There are loads of options. and to be honest i havent even discovered what i am really good at yet. BUT i still think i would like to be a writer….but i want to be a goal keeper too…can you be both? Oh i think  i would LOVE being a radio DJ or presenter…cos i really enjoyed the 2 times i did that now 🙂

So we both think  we have the same worries….

and it might even be a bit easier for me

cos i have HELP and advice all the time 24/7

mum says at least we don’t grow up over night and that we have loads of time. She says it took her 48 years to be the person who knows the stuff she does now…so kinda we are always growing up!

by Fionn and Caoilte