Thankfully Fionn could always communicate with us, and we DID, and still do have a very close and open relationship. This makes life work better for Fionn, and for us!…. This was written aged 12. … so hope it helps those of you with children around that stage. H.

 

some things i find really difficult to understand.

they make me feel very confused.

confused makes me uncomfotable.

  • i dont like raised voices. Even if it is my dad on the phone to someone.
  • Or mam and dad discussing something loudly – i don’t enjoy it. I know sometimes it can be that they are trying to sort out stuff for my older brother and sister, but it really disturbs me. I feel like thay are not loving each other for a while – which makes me sad. But when i talk to them i know what it is, and it gets sorted out. But before the talking it is not great.
  • people invading my space – most people say don’t invade my privacy – but to me i just say don’t invade my space – which makes mam and dad laugh. This is usually about people i am not totally comfortable with getting a bit too close…i want to shout “GET BACK AND GIMME MY SPACE”..but i usually manage to just go “excuse me” and i just go and find another wee bit of space.
  • when i am nervous. i know i talk a lot extra and fidget a lot but the more i realise the more nervous i get sometimes. I try to get something to fidget with, or if mums there i might squish her hand where noone notices, or if she isn’t i can sit on my hands but its not just as good.
  • i find it uncomfortable when i am in a situation where i know NOBODY for the first time. i was dreading secondary school until we had Open day. I was nervous when i went in and kinda spent the day watching people and sorta figuring them out. and when we were leaving i was happy and relieved.
  • big crowds make me anxious
  • crowds of people my age affects me weirdly. It makes me try to act like a bit cooler and then i don’t like who i am. Once i was with my class and trying to impress so much i said a real horrible thing to some stranger and i felt so horrible after. I was upset at myself. So i try not to let that happen. And now i love being me and i remember i shouldnt be somebody else!
  • a new challenge – like singing a colo at choir, or going on the radio… mum helps with this. She says “what could possibly go wrong?” one of her favourite catchphrases. Then when i tell her what i am afraid of she says “what have you done in the past to prove that will happen” and then i have answer then she says “so why are you worried?” By that stage i am feeling confident in myself.
  • i dont enjoy when other people get in trouble. it makes an atmosphere that makes me uncomfortbale and i hate it.
  • sometimes when bad situation goes on for a long time i can blank it out. Mum calls me a turtle cos i can pull back into my shell to protect myself. But it really helps. I don’t have to do that many times thankfully.
  • a few years ago i used to get really uncomfortable when i would feel people were laughing at me. – i would be thinking “what have i done now?” cos i really wouldn’t . Now i know everybody feels that way sometimes and when i remember that i am ok.

so mostly i only get uncomfortable with a few things

but not much!

🙂

by Fionn

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