Emotions may NOT be part of the default in aspergers programming, BUT they can be felt, explained, learned, and taken onboard. Fionn has a good grasp of a LOT of emotions…..now! (Helen).
Most people think Aspies don’t know anything about emotions, and they don’t understand other peoples feelings. So i don’t know if we can’t when we are born but i know i can now. So Aspies can learn things just as easily as others!
One day recently a nice lady was saying she read that Asperger’s could be cured!
I dont wan’t want to be CURED…there is nothing wrong with me!
BUT i learn more about how to do normal people things as i get more understanding of how i work.
Emotions i know and feel
Sometimes i feel so many emotions i have to use my word “emotious“ – it describes when loads of feelings are felt at the same time and its a bit hard to untangle them. But i understand lots of feelings!
- happy -is good. you feel it when you have done something good or you are getting something good or something.
- sad –i know i am sad when i feel like crying. I dont very often but i know it feels awful. My sad sometimes doesn’t last as long as other people’s – like at my grandads funeral I was really sad as soon as he died, but then i didnt cry any more.
- sorry for someone – it feels like you know your friend feels awkward, sad, embarrassed, angry. I kinda pat them on the shoulder sometimes but othertimes i just not sure what to do so i keep my distance. If a friends family member dies, i can text them or say face to face that i know how how it feels, cos my grandad died.
- hurt by someone-you kinda feel embarrassed. It can be if people are laughing at me not with me – but this doesn’t happen as often any more. I just try and find a quiet room and stay and think and reflect for a while about what could they really have meant.
- angry– when i feel angry i feel like my head is about to blow up. I sometimes hear noises in my head and i wish i was sometimes able to scream it out but i usually put a lid on it til i get home…then i can blow up….and maybe after i can calm down with some cooling music.
- embarrassed- embarrassed feels like annoyed at something that i have done but it was maybe a bit childish or stupid. You definitely know when you are embarrasses that people are laughing at you when you are embarrassed! What i try to do is to laugh at the thing i did and then make it look like i did it on purpose, cos when you can laugh at yourself, people laugh WITH you and that is a really good skill for life. So try not to take the silly things too seriously and see the funny bit.
- shocked – i feel shocked when someone does something new- like maybe dies their hair. I have to be careful in this kind of situation , not to show it, in case it would be hurtful.
- scared – i used be so scared of “WHAT IFs” – like what if something bad happens if i am doing something, or what if a big boy comes and pushes me about. As i have got more friends and as more people understand me, these get much less. Like in the choir and band there are lots of seniors and i get on well with them. They were really nice about my article in the paper about Aspergers. I am still scrared of heights and being enclosed in a dark space….plus i have a few sensory ones that i will not talk about 🙂
- anxious – is still a bit of fear like WHAT IF…if i got teased, if i was asked to sing solo, if i have a test…it gives me tummy butterflies…. but mum always asks me “what’s the worst thing that can happen?” and then i realise there isn’t much proof that anything will go wrong.
Emotions i can recognise in other people.
I have got much better at this cos i have been trying to learn about people..i might do a whole blog about this soon, but i can tell when people are:
so life with Asperger’s does NOT mean you can not accomplish understanding emotions.
Actually cos you have to study people and yourself, maybe you get emotions REALLY well!