This post was an old one. It was written eight years ago.
This is how it feels to be the younger brother and the son who translated and supported Fionn in may ways.
So it is written from the “younger” son’s perspective….who was then aged TEN!… and already having to be the older child.
There are 21 months between the boys….and an 8 & 10 year gap from our other two children before we had Fionn. We raised the boys very closely together and they had similar interests and hobbies which was GREAT in terms of helping Fionn socialsing!
I find this a difficult one to read in ways, as being an Irish mother i have DNA which measures myself in shoulds, woulds and coulds. We Irish mothers are stept in self-doubt!
You NEVER really know as a parent how you are balancing Yourself in terms of who needs what and when….but it is good to waken up and ask yourself …. Helen

10 pros and cons of living with a brother who has aspergers
Hi! I’m Caoilte. I am Fionn’s 10 year old brother and I have a few things to say.
Pros
- Fionn says very random things that make me laugh uncontrollably! For example,if I am in the middle of a conversation Fionn might shout HIPPO CRISIS!
- When he’s saying something, Fionn explains things VERY clearly! So clearly, in fact, you will never have to ask him ever again!
- When mam or dad do send Fionn up to clean the room, he does all of it…even my share!
- Fionn cheers me up a lot with his wacky sense of humour. He is really bad at idioms and we get loads of laughs at them!
- We sort of like the same comedy programmes, so we don’t argue much about what to watch.
- If i want to play football, he is always there to play with and he likes being in nets and i don’t so that works well.
- Fionn gets on much more with everyone at sports – when he was younger if he had a problem at football with someone, I would help him sort it out.
- Fionn is never deliberately unkind to anyone, so he is always nice to me and all the family.
- He has finally stopped changing which team he supports during a match depending on who is winning – that used to drive me mad!
- Fionn is probably one of the funniest people i know in real life!
Cons
- i am expected a bit to be the older person, who does the sensible things all the time!
- when i am in the middle of listening to my music on my phone, the next thing you hear is either Fionn on the tin whistle, or Fionn on the cornet, or Fionn on the drums or Fionn on the piano. He can not walk past an instrument without stopping to play it.
- our bedroom is a mess – mainly thanks to Fionn. He is so disorganised. BUT i kinda get away with my bits of the mess cos the whole room is a mess.
- Fionn keeps stealing my favourite football tops and stretches them – especially my under-armours!
- He has a really weird sense of smell and smells drive him nuts that nobody else gets – like animal smells, breath, hair, agriculture…
- When i am still wide awake and want to chat to him, he will fall straight asleep…which is really weird cos Fionn used to have massive trouble falling asleep especially if we had music on with words in it!
- Scenes…he never stops quoting scenes from his favourite TV shows like AnchorMan, Father Ted or Mrs Brown’s Boys….over and over he repeats them. (actually sometimes i do join in!)
- Fionn when he is fidgetty, and I am tired, he wakens me up by making noises. He keeps a stash of books and stuff on his windowsill and i can hear him playing with it…with his reading light on!
- Cos Fionn loves creative writing, everyday when i have writing homework he keeps on shouting his ideas at me…when i want to think of my own.
- He can be lazy and doesn’t like walking to the shop…and I love to.
Overall he is a pretty nice guy!
His Aspergers makes him really funny – and he knows it.
I like having a brother with aspergers.
Cos i have to be the sensible one, its kind of like I am older, so we may as well be twins as brothers!
you are cool Fionn
from
Caoilte
caoilte you are so sweet to be so understanding of fionn. i know living with us aspies is not always easy. but thank you for being so understanding of him. i know having a sibling that is understanding is a very valuable thing 🙂
Caoilte ,
he was disgusted you gave the secret of the windowsill and the reading light…otherwise Fionn loved it 🙂
i recognise ALL of those things….especially the music one!
H
Brad,
Caoilte says thanks for reading his post on the blog and i wish i knew as much as you do about it.
Thankyou
Caoilte
i have a brother much similar he is fortunate enough not to have asbergers but he has difficulties much the same !! u are very good to be understanding to him and it will always be you that he turns to… keep up the positive attitude and i know how u feel my brother at 14 is still changes teams during the matches …<3 xoxoxo -E
Emily,
Caoilte laughed at this one! 🙂
Helen
it is my pleasure to read his post 🙂
Lovely post, lovely brothers, lovely blog!
thankyou:)
Thankyou!
my som was actually 11 when he wrote this about the 13 year old who has aspergers.
they are SO much more close than any other pair of brothers i know!
Helen
That is so cute, especially the accent (to the American ear).
thankyou
from Caoilte
I’ve read a few things on your blog and I think it’s pretty awesome. I only had my diagnosis 4 months ago but it’s answered so many questions for me. I’ve my own blog over at http://www.mycartesiantheatre.com/ if you’d like to read about some of my experiences.
I’ve read a few good stuff here. Certainly price bookmarking for revisiting.
I surprise how so much effort you place to create this sort of magnificent informative site.
Reblogged this on autisticandproud and commented:
This was written when Fionn was 13. Caoilte was 11. a long time ago, and yet not all different.