we were out for dinner a few nights ago up in Derry.
i had my iPad with me (like i always do!)
…and i took a few “LOVELY” pictures of my family.
We laughed so much!
i decided to show you them.
I am LONGLISTED this year again and am very pleased.
for just helping people understand my aspergers
if you like my blog and you want to VOTE for my blog you just click on the picture like THIS at the side of the page and vote for me – i think that’s all you do!
a lady called Amo said you don’t have to vote there is a team who do that so you don’t have to do anything! Thankyou :)
But maybe the voting is not started yet!
Sometimes people talk to Fionn, or they watch Fionn play and interact with others, and are very quick to say “ach, but i mean he is fine now!”...as if to say “has he grown out of his aspergers?”, or “maybe he hasn’t much wrong with him”...we have family members who really do NOT see how being an independent adult is such an aspiration and such a challenge for any child with Asperger’s Syndrome.
“he hasn’t much wrong with him” – he hasn’t ANYTHING WRONG with him!
he has- and will always have-ASPERGERS.
his wiring is a bit different that everyone elses – and why would we want him NOT to be himself?
YES – we have had to find a compromise between making Fionn resilient in a mainstream society setting, and embracing the way he is!
At times he uses his autism strengths, at other times he draws on the learned behaviour patterns he has mastered to integrate in school and in broader context.
As he gets older, the issues he encounters change, and then we have to look at other coping mechanisms.
But despite his being a great aspergers ambassador, despite his ability to give a very clear interview, describing brilliantly the way his condition affects him, and the adjustments he made, Despite the fact that he has learned:
but there will ALWAYS be little things with Fionn. thankfully. they are a part of his charm!
little things which throw him a new situation and he is unprepared, he comes like a rabbit in the headlights.
I wanted to share with you a few social situations , a few little examples, where Fionn still needs help – these I am sure are issues and situations many of you as parents Or as Aspies recognise, and that’s why i wanted to let you see that while Fionn is a hugely successful example of how an Asperger’s Child can learn and be happy in their own skin, that he is no different than you…or your child. So there is NO MAGIC trick….it’s about finding a path through situations for you, your child which taps in on their strengths! We never pretend it is anything more than this. We love him, as we do all out children, just the way he is! And in the same way as with all our children, we want to make life for him as comfortable for him as we can and are there to help.
That’s all – it’s about being a family – of creative thinkers, with great sense of humour!
So there is no secret. Fionn is a great child. a happy, confident child with Asperger’s.
There is no method, no book on “what do i say when…?” for Asperger’s Parents. But for us, it has been that we have talked all the bits through with Fionn, When he encounters anew situation he comes and discusses it, and we unravel the panic, until we get to the actual worry itself, and he understands it then.
And we keep finding new issues, new situations where he is unsure and uncomfortable and he is so relieved when he resolves it, and the dread of another unknown is gone.
what if…ONE new situation is one situation learned – whatever the outcome…if it is discussed and analyses…but the What ifs will change as he gets older. For the moment they still involve us doing the debrief and untangling…but maybe someday…he will NOT need us?
The day at UTV :D
THIS IS AN EMBARRASSING BLOG.
in May, i blogged about the Spirit of Northern Ireland awards…..and one day I made the long trek up to Belfast to UTV studio to meet before the spirit of Northern Ireland awards!
I know i have said i was nervous and surprised to be there but when the time came i enjoyed it – even if i was a bit nervous.
We were greeted at the door by a nice lady called Sarah and I was given my name tag and my pass, and we were directed down to the studio 2. They made us welcome and let us mingle a bit. It was really cool, with loads of interesting and unique people. I talked to a few of them and they seemed friendly. I didn’t ask anyone why they were up for the awards cos I might seem nosey. i am sure i will find out on the night. I was looking at the TV screen which was showing highlights of last years show. you could tell if people were up for awards if they had a badge. A lot of the other young people seemed very wee.
We were then given a tour of the main studio and then we were given a t shirt with a symbol of the awards and we went on the tour of studio 1, where they do the utv news! That was snug compared to what i had imagined. Its a room with lots of cameras and a few chairs and really bright lights above Paul Clark’s head!
We all had to be interviewed by a lady before we left. That was the bit i was dreading and it didn’t go as bad as I thought. But i am sorry i can’t remember her name. I hope i said sensible answers rather than some of the gibberish i can sometimes come out with :)
BUT the lady doing the questions spoke very softly
and the questions were ones i was able to answer.
Mum and Dad were standing close by – but not able to help – so it was all me.
A UTV lady sent mum a copy of the interview on DVD. (it was SUPER embarrassing…but MUM decided to post it anyhow!)
but in fairness it does explain why i do my blogging…
so i HOPE YOU enjoy it more than i do watching it :)
i DO NOT LIKE :
mum found this today on the internet.
it is about people with aspergers and how they find it hard to judge a LENGTH of time.
by the way do you recognise the title?
it is from a Doctor Who episode. (it was the episode called “Blink” with David Tennant…yes it used to be my “thing”)
i always find it hard to USE time.
mum says when i was younger and we had to do a visual timetable with pictures of what do to in summer holidays, I was RUBBISH at it…i would think i was DONE the whole day and it might have only taken me an hour to get through the entire day plan.
apparently when i was in nursery class i kept repeating the question “what time is it” – and i really didn’t know the time . I just wanted to know could i leave yet and was mum coming.
If i am somewhere on a trip , eg. the ZOO…i HATE it. Cos once i have seen a creature then i get bored with it and am ready for the next one. My brother loves animals but i am like “can we go we have seen this one “…so I could do the whole trip in an hour!
i do EVERYTHING kinda fast and not carefully -
i hate days in school towards the end of a year when you do’t DO anything. they seem so long. In Primary School it was worse to manage because we had to sit in the one class and it was very boring cos there was like nothing to do. At least in secondary school you have to move from classroom to classroom so it is a BIT of activity.
i think my brain functions better with a timetable and a plan.
The summer holidays were a REAL torture for me. For many years i couldn’t adjust to all the free time when you had to make up your own choice of what to do. This year I am finding it better – cos i am getting a bit used to it, i have learned to lie in, i can do sport, and am managing ok so far!
In exams i have REAL problems with time.
So i REALLY understand that ASD and time is a problem.